that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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