A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Can I color on your dick again?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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