I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I feel like abortions should bother me more
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
