i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
