That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
