don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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