Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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