where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
