They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
