I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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