the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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