I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
