Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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