Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
