So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize