I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
