just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
