Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
