well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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