Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize