The maid of honor just puked.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
