i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
