I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
