do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
