im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
