Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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