hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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