You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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