Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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