dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
he's single and there are thong briefs.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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