Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
