About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize