i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
