it was like his penis was on wheels.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
then he tried to convert me to islam
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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