handjob tips. give me some.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
