everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
