I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
