Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
