This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
