I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
