it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
my shit smells like andre
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
