i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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