um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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