so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
