i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
