brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
