Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
