I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I got her a Nickelback box set.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
