Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
