i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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