I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
