i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
