OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Randomize
