You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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