If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
In America we eat man semen.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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