Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize