He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
