Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
