I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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