i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
