You can't motorboat a personality
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
