I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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