Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I need to align my fucking chakras
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
